With the Thanksgiving Holiday upon us, I wanted to take some time to really talk about the important things with the Steelers. This team has underwhelmed and surprised me in a lot of areas, but I want to cover the really important topics and answer the critical questions. So today, we will be identifying what Steelers players best represent which part of the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Be prepared for some hot takes on sports, and perhaps some even hotter takes on food, but I have compiled ten of the most iconic Thanksgiving dishes and compared them to the current Steelers roster. No coaches, no former players, we are just looking at the current crop of players assembled and seeing how they compare to the food on your plate this Thanksgiving!
Steelers cranberry jelly: Levi Wallace
One of the worst parts of a Thanksgiving plate, what exactly is the point of cranberry jelly? Yes, you can make a delectable cranberry sauce to complement the heartiness of your meal. It has a bit of sweetness and a bit of sourness, and it can really freshen up a plate of food.
We aren’t talking about that though. We are talking about that weird jelly you get out of a can from the store. You crack it open, try desperately to jiggle it out of the can, and it finally plops out and holds its shape. It has a bad taste, a bad consistency, and everything you want it to be, it never is.
Levi Wallace is, unfortunately, the exact same way. I will have to excuse his first season, as he looked like a very different player that year, but his play this season has been horrible. He hasn’t been able to cover well, his lacking speed has been evident, and his tackling has been middling to boot.
Do you need Wallace to be a good outside cornerback and match up against one of the opposing starting receivers? Nope, he still has that sour taste about him. Want him to be flexible and stop big plays with his tackling? Nah, he still has that weird shape he got from being in the can. He is what he is at this point, and that is one of the least appetizing side dishes on the menu.
The Steelers corn: Diontae Johnson
I had a hard time finding a place for Diontae Johnson on this plate. While not an elite player, Johnson is a sharp route runner and a good top-receiving option. That said, he isn’t flashy or that vocal, so he can’t be an essential piece of the plate.
I ultimately settled for the side of corn. No one is going to go out of their way to praise the corn on the Thanksgiving table. While delicious and colorful, corn doesn’t dominate any given plate. What it does is elevate other areas while also being a tasty side dish to enjoy on its own.
Johnson is just that. He can obviously hold his own as a starter and has proven that in the past. While his recent stats have been lacking, the entire passing offense has been pathetic in recent years. He is still one of the core components though for the quarterback to target.
He also adds to other areas of the game. While not a core component of his game, he can handle some run game work on jet sweeps. He can also take some pressure off the other receivers, allowing defenses to focus on him and for other targets to get open.
No, Johnson isn’t going to be regularly praised (many still claim he has the same suspect hands he did early in his career when he really doesn’t). What he does is quietly go about his business, makes an impact every week, and can be used in a variety of ways just like corn is.
The Steelers rolls: Alex Highsmith
While bread gets unfairly demonized by many people who feel averse to carbs, let me just tell you, they are a pivotal part of the Thanksgiving plate. They can stand on their own with a little bit of butter, or they can be used to clean off your plate and make sure the remnants of your meal all make it into your stomach.
Fine on their own, rolls get elevated when they are paired with a great meal. Again, it isn’t uncommon to use said rolls to mop up the remainder of your plate. If the entire meal was great, that would make the rolls that much better! If the rest of the meal struggles, rolls can still provide a pleasant addition to the dinner
Highsmith is just that. While his stats aren’t always gaudy, he is consistently winning off the edge and making an impact with pressure. He has also developed into a decent run defender. Despite not being the biggest defender, he can hold his own and set the edge in the run game while still being a potent pass rusher.
When the defense as a whole is on top of it, Highsmith only gets better. He is a great compliment to the likes of Watt and Heyward, and while he may shine less than either of those names, he is still a pivotal piece of this defense. He is great on his own and even better in a top-notch defense. He brings so much to the table just like the bread does.
The Steelers gravy: Minkah Fitzpatrick
This might seem a little unfair, but I genuinely think this is high praise for Minkah Fitzpatrick. This is also my important list of food comparisons to Steelers players, so know your role!
The Steelers added Fitzpatrick via trade a few seasons ago, and he has become a core piece of an otherwise mediocre secondary for most of his tenure. He is best as a pure free safety, but he can play in the box or in the slot. He covers a lot of area in the backfield of the defense, and you can often find him assisting in big plays.
Gravy, more often than not, is not going to define a plate of food. That said, gravy can make a bad plate of food tolerable and a great plate of food even better. This is especially so when the gravy is properly made as opposed to being store-bought. I bet you all will struggle to find people not dumping gravy onto their plates even if the food is good.
Fitzpatrick is the same type of player. While a star-free safety on his own won’t necessarily make an elite defense, he will always add to a team. You can use him traditionally and sparingly on just your potatoes (as a deep safety) or all over your plate to elevate food.
Gravy can be a type of fix-all. Turkey is dry? Add gravy. Stuffing lacking flavor? Add some gravy. Like a gravy, Fitzpatrick can be used all over a defense to fix issues. His versatility and talent can cover up deficiencies, and even if it results in some unlikely pairings/lineups, Fitzpatrick can do it all just like a good gravy should be able to do.
Steelers mashed potatoes: Running backs
The first shared dish here, many people know my opinion of taking Najee Harris in the first round (long story short, they shouldn’t have). That said, the combination of him and undrafted rookie Jaylen Warren can more often than not create a powerful combination for this offense to lean on.
Similarly to this, mashed potatoes are the core of any good Thanksgiving plate. While not the star of the show, they can help elevate any dish. As well, they are a versatile component to a plate of food. While they can stand on their own, they can also be mixed with other components to create an even better dish.
Best yet, when you are looking to get through those leftovers after the holiday wraps up, mashed potatoes are a key component. While recreating your Thanksgiving plate is fine, what’s better than dumping everything into a bowl and eating it together? When you do, potatoes are the backbone of said bowl.
Both running backs are just like this. They can stand on their own, as both Harris and Warren have proven to be great players on their own at times. You can mix either into the passing game to provide a new look if need be. As well, given the struggles of the offense as a whole, the running game is usually the reason this team can move the ball and score points, just as the mashed potatoes are the backbone of the inevitable Thanksgiving bowl you make following the holiday.
Steelers green bean casserole: Kenny Pickett
Rounding out our Thanksgiving plate is the weirdly beloved green bean casserole. This dish is a simple one: cream of mushroom soup, green beans, and a topping of cheese and/or little onion straws. Despite being one of the more boring and, frankly, least desirable dishes on the Thanksgiving spread, green bean casserole has its group of adamant fans.
Every year you get a scoop and you really want to like it, but it always falls short. The taste is muted and the consistency is weird, but a year from now, you are grabbing another serving just to be disappointed again. Despite this lackluster performance on the holiday, the fans are always quick to defend green bean casserole.
Unfortunately, this encompasses Kenny Pickett to perfection. Every week his play is below the bar, and he struggles to help this team simply move the ball. Say anything against him though and his fans are quick to defend him. “It’s Matt Canada/the offensive line/ the receivers/a different scapegoat that is causing Pickett to struggle” despite consistently below-the-bar showings.
I really want to like Pickett, but every time he takes the field and rolls into pressure or misses an open pass I find myself disappointed. Like green bean casserole, I always get my hopes up that it might be good, but feel disappointed when the actual dish is made just as I am disappointed when I have to watch Pickett play.
Steelers pumpkin pie: George Pickens
The undeniable highlight of a Thanksgiving meal is that perfect piece of pumpkin pie at the end of the meal. Already stuffed, you still find some room to get down a fresh piece of that pie. Sweet, a little spicy, and perfect way to finish a meal, it is hard to turn away from that sweet dessert.
Unfortunately, given the ingredients in it, pumpkin pie can spoil easily. On top of it, it is extremely rich as a dessert, and if you have already gorged yourself on dinner, a piece of pumpkin pie won’t always sit easily in the stomach. It can be the highlight of the meal, but it can also turn into the aspect of the meal that makes you sick.
George Pickens is in the same mold as this pie. More often than not, his incredible catches are the highlight of any game. He has the ability to be the star of this team, and when things are going perfectly, he is the highlight of this team on offense.
Unfortunately, and more often than not as of late, Pickens can prove to be a sour note for this team. With the offense as a whole struggling, Pickens has proven to be a bit of a hot head at times. From lashing out and acting childish, his antics aren’t what you want from a player. Long-term, if they aren’t corrected, it will likely end his tenure with the franchise.
Pickens has all of the talent to be a star for this team and one of the best receivers in the league. If his attitude continues as it has though, he will quickly sour for this franchise. He should be a highlight for this team, but count me as one of the people who are getting fed up with his attitude. That said, he is young, so there is still plenty of time to mature.
The Steelers pecan pie: Offensive line
Pecan pie is one of the harder things to get right on the Thanksgiving table. A staple dessert for many people, the issue is that there is a lot of technique that goes into making this pie. Plenty of people attempt it, but very few actually make it well. When it is made well, it is one of the best foods on the table. When it isn’t, it is easily skippable.
The Steelers offensive line finds itself in this mold. This group has been a sore spot for the past few seasons, which has caused a considerable turnover and rebuild of this unit. Unfortunately, this group is still very much a work in progress and they haven’t been consistent for this squad.
When they are on it and playing well, there isn’t anything better to watch. The group opens lanes for the rushing attack and allows enough time for the quarterback to make plays. They have had a handful of games where they have played like this, and watching them effectively block is a thing of beauty, just like a great piece of pecan pie is when made well.
Unfortunately, just as often, this group has struggled to generate a lot of push for the offense. This leads to quick and inefficient drives as well as a poor rushing unit. The last thing you want to do after weeks like that is watch the tape and see this group struggle. That is more akin to a bad piece of pecan pie.
When the offensive line gels and works together well, there are few things better to see. They are the highlight of the team and a core reason they win games. When they struggle though, it is a sour note, and one that is easy to call out.
The Steelers stuffing: Cameron Heyward
I almost put the three Steelers defensive stars in as the turkey, but I think that there is a better way to break this down. Cameron Heyward has a special spot on this plate as well as he is the stuffing (or dressing, depending on what you call it).
For the longest time, stuffing seemed to be the forgotten hero of the Thanksgiving plate. Despite being savory and herbaceous, people always flocked to the potatoes and turkey before giving stuffing it’s time to shine. Thankfully, this delectable side dish is not rightfully seen as one of the best of the holiday. Before being so heavily praised, stuffing was the favorite dish of only a select few people.
Heyward is a very similar player. While it took him a few years to get his feet under him, he quickly developed into a star on this defense. A transition from the old breed of defensive lineman, Heyward dominates opposing offenses as a pass rusher and a run stuffer.
Despite becoming a superstar though, it took a while for the national praise to come in. Fans eventually backed him as a star of this defense. It took too long, but the national media also finally backed Heyward. Now, and rightfully so, Heyward is viewed as a lynchpin of this defense and a necessary piece on an otherwise lackluster defensive line.
For the longest time, both stuffing and Heyward were seen as underrated pieces of their respective teams. While not the top stars, both are constantly people’s favorites, and understandably so. It may have taken a while for the fandom to come around, but both are equally deserving of their praise.
The Steelers turkey: T.J. Watt
The star of the Thanksgiving holiday and certainly the biggest star of this Steelers team, who else could be the main dish other than T.J. Watt? Please do not misinterpret turkey as a knock on Watt either, as both are deserving stars and worthy of praise.
Watt is the main attraction on this team, and there is a notable difference to this team when he can’t suit up and play. Frankly put, this team isn’t the same without Watt, and Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the same without Turkey. We can pick and choose other things that we like, but nothing compares to having a perfectly cooked turkey on the holiday.
While we all likely have our own personal favorite sides and dishes on Thanksgiving, we can all acknowledge that the turkey is still the centerpiece of the meal. Without it, it isn’t truly Thanksgiving. While we all have other favorite players, Watt is the heart and soul of this team just like turkey is the heart and soul of the holiday.
I don’t know about you, but I am stuffed! With the Steelers struggling, I hope this ever-important relation to your Thanksgiving plate provides a little bit of cheer. Enjoy the time with family, and remember these important comparisons as you load up your plate.