Dear Santa…

Dear Santa:

Let me get right to the point.  I believe in you. I’ve always believed in you. I believed even when Tony and Tina told me in the fourth grade that you weren’t real. I knew better than trust the two people who convinced me how fun it was to lick a frozen lamp post.  Are they still on your Naughty list?  If not, they should be.  Of course, those decisions are up to you.

I realize I am getting far too old to give you a lengthy list of toys in the hopes of discovering them wrapped up in shiny foil under my tree.  Therefore, I’ll keep it short and to the point.  May I please have an NFL vibrating football game, a Sony PSP Slim with Madden ’10, a hockey game for the Xbox 360, a Foosball table for my rumpus room, and a souped up cappuccino machine with one of those coffee house frothy attachment thingys.  I’ll leave you cookies and milk.   Well, it’ll be soy milk since I’m lactose intolerant but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it all the same.

And there’s one more thing since I’ve been extra good this year (except for some of the words I use during Pittsburgh Steelers games, although can you blame me?).   I know it seems like I’m pushing my luck but this gift isn’t just for me.  It’s something I want to share with the entire world.   No, not world peace.   Let President Obama earn his Nobel Prize.

I know Christmas is this Friday.  However, I’m perfectly happy to receive belated gifts.  You don’t even have to wrap it.  Just make sure it’s delivered to Heinz Field by Sunday afternoon so we can show it to those mean ‘ol Baltimore Ravens.  To avoid any confusion, I’m attaching a picture of what I want.  I’ve heard rumors that it’s already on the way but I was also promised a Schwinn six speed and we both know that never happened.  So, please, make this wish come true.   I believe in you, Santa!

Happy Holidays, everybody!