The Morning Cup: Big Ben jealous, tears ACL too**


Friday, April 1st’s edition of The Morning Cup brings shocking news to Steelers Nation.  In a late night report sources close to Ben Roethlisberger have revealed that Big Ben has torn his ACL.  The report claims that Roethlisberger, in a fit of jealous rage, left his Pittsburgh home late night Thursday and was not heard from again until his 911 call 20 minutes later.  Sources also say that teammate Chris Kemoeatu was with Big Ben at his home up to the point of his ‘fit.’

“It all kinda happened fast.  We were watching the 11pm edition of Sports Center, and they started talking about Chad Pennington again.  He [Ben] was on edge the whole day after hearing about the ACL tear.  Something was really bothering him.  The news report only lasted about a minute, but I guess it was enough to send him over the edge.”  Kemoeatu explains that Ben became very worked up and said something along the lines of ‘It’s just not fair’ before storming out of his home.

911 transcripts reveal that Roethlisberger made an emergency call about a half mile from his home.  When asked what was wrong the transcript shows that Ben said, “Owwwww!  Owww! Owwwwwww!  I think I tore my left ACL!  Help me.  I need an ambulance.!”  Dispatchers called for an ambulance immediately, and the quarterback was taken to UPMC Mercy Hospital.  Ben was seen leaving the hospital about two hours later with a boot on his left ankle and walking in crutches.   When asked what happened, Ben hobbled over and replied,

"‘Look everything happened very quickly.  This whole Chad Pennington thing…. I just couldn’t take it anymore.  Why should he get all this press over his stupid ankle?  I got really jealous.  No one is talking to me or asking for interviews these days.  There’s been no reports done about me yet during this offseason.  So, I got jealous seeing Chad getting all that press.  Something happened inside me… I lost control.  So I left the house and found a ledge to jump off of.  It took a few jumps, but finally my left ankle gave out after the sixth jump.  It hurt really bad at first, so I called for an ambulance.  Look I’m not entirely proud of what I did.  But hopefully, when I come back from this injury in about 4-5 months, the fans will forgive me.’"

Several coaches and teammates were contacted for comment, but all refused to give statements at this time.

** Happy April Fools Day, Nation.  Thankfully, NONE of this article is true.  Although, we cannot not confirm or deny Big Ben’s jealousy over Chad Pennington’s press time over his torn ACL.