Analyst Clowns Place Steelers Third In AFC North


Jag’ville is a fairly populated place these days.  Well three new citizens signed up for their residency cards today when they decided to place the Steelers as placing third in the AFC North.  Who, you may ask, are these lucky clowns?  Herman Edwards, Marcellus Wiley and Bill Polian.

ESPN, fishing from a very dry well of analyst talent, brought these three clown on to do predictions – well before any completion of OTA’s or training camp.  I have no problems with predictions.  We do them here all the time – mainly for fun and to stir conversation.  What’s really annoying with these three jags is the air of authority with which they speak – no surprise there.  But we should all really know by now the predictive prowess of Edwards, Wiley, and Polian, right?  Masters of the crystal ball.  So what was the big reason why they consistently placed the Ravens and the Bengals over the Steelers?


Yes.  That’s right.  Change.  If you just asked yourself, ‘Of what?’ you, my friend,  you are already light years ahead of these three magnificent boneheads.  Aside from losing Ward, Aaron Smith, Chris Hoke, James Farrior, Chris Kemoeatu, and Willie Gay, the team is is mainly intact from last season.  Let’s look at that for a sec…..

Ward: Retired after team DIDN’T WANT HIM BACK.  Production was that of a 3rd or 4th receiver.  No big deal

Smith: A fairly big hit to the defensive line.

Hoke: A great backup who, with the combo of losing Smith, makes it a bigger loss.

Farrior: The defensive leader of the team in the locker room.  Production wasn’t that great, and is replaceable.

Kemoeatu: Worthless from day one.  It was already like he wasn’t playing on the team.  So no loss there.

Gay: The #2 corner.  Which Gay was going to show up this year, nobody knew.

So in essence, the Steelers lost 2-3 significant contributors to their team.  And, that all of a sudden means that they go from 12-4 and placing 2nd (only after losing a tiebreaker to the Ravens) to 3rd in the division?  Where in the hell is the logic in that?  Where’s the big change they speak of?  It’s crazy.  If anything, the Steelers went through some huge changes after the draft was over, and it was a change for the better.  If anything, the Steelers improved their chances significantly in winning the AFC North.  The team addressed some significant needs on the offensive and defensive lines, as well as added depth to linebacker and running back.

I’m no homer, and I always call it the way I see it.  Even if that means having to dig into the Black and Gold a bit to prove a point.  There’s no way the Steelers have been shaken up in a negative way that causes this team to falter.  I think what these ‘boys’ are really banking on is the new offensive schemes of Todd Haley no jiving well with an offense that had visions of bubble screens in their dreams on a nightly basis.  Yes, the team will have its bumps and bruises over the course of the season.  At times it won’t look pretty.  But, the Steelers know how to win and still have a defense mainly in tact that will always give them a chance at winning no matter what the offense is like.

Lastly, there was mention of Tomlin being on the hot seat this season.  Excuse me while I grab my list entitled ‘Most Asinine Things People Say.’  Tomlin, as his two predecessors proved before him, has proven to be a strong coach and knows how to run a football team.  Seems like Stooges Inc. (Edwards, Wiley and Polian) needs a refresher on their Steelers history.  The Steelers just don’t drop coaches after a stumble.  Tomlin’s won a Super Bowl since arriving.  They’ve made the playoffs 3 out of 4 seasons and Super Bowls twice since Tomlin joined the team.  Hot seat?  I think not


gentlemen.  Oh it should also be noted that the Steelers don’t usually can their guys after one bad season.  They gave Cowher a contract extension after the team went 6-10 the previous season.  So yeah… there’s that.

Quick get these guys some different drugs.  I think they just announced that they think Colt McCoy is going to win the league MVP because he ‘deserves’ it after so much adversity.