Current Pittsburgh Steelers compared to Thanksgiving dinner dishes
By Andrew Falce
With the Thanksgiving Holiday upon us, I wanted to take some time to really talk about the important things with the Steelers. This team has underwhelmed and surprised me in a lot of areas, but I want to cover the really important topics and answer the critical questions. So today, we will be identifying what Steelers players best represent which part of the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Be prepared for some hot takes on sports, and perhaps some even hotter takes on food, but I have compiled ten of the most iconic Thanksgiving dishes and compared them to the current Steelers roster. No coaches, no former players, we are just looking at the current crop of players assembled and seeing how they compare to the food on your plate this Thanksgiving!
Steelers cranberry jelly: Levi Wallace
One of the worst parts of a Thanksgiving plate, what exactly is the point of cranberry jelly? Yes, you can make a delectable cranberry sauce to complement the heartiness of your meal. It has a bit of sweetness and a bit of sourness, and it can really freshen up a plate of food.
We aren’t talking about that though. We are talking about that weird jelly you get out of a can from the store. You crack it open, try desperately to jiggle it out of the can, and it finally plops out and holds its shape. It has a bad taste, a bad consistency, and everything you want it to be, it never is.
Levi Wallace is, unfortunately, the exact same way. I will have to excuse his first season, as he looked like a very different player that year, but his play this season has been horrible. He hasn’t been able to cover well, his lacking speed has been evident, and his tackling has been middling to boot.
Do you need Wallace to be a good outside cornerback and match up against one of the opposing starting receivers? Nope, he still has that sour taste about him. Want him to be flexible and stop big plays with his tackling? Nah, he still has that weird shape he got from being in the can. He is what he is at this point, and that is one of the least appetizing side dishes on the menu.